How to Win an Argument With My Daughter
“Let’s go, guys. Time to put coats on!” “I’m not wearing a coat today!” “Yes you are.” “No!” “Honey, it’s zero degrees outside. Do you know how many degrees that is? None. That’s cold.” “I’m wearing a...
View ArticleWhat Are You Doing The Rest of Your Life?
Just about the most horrible thing you can ask a kid, other than “Do you want to watch Barney?”, is “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My kids are 3 years old. You really expect them to have...
View ArticleMy Little Mean Girl
“If a baby came to my house, I would hit it so that it would leave my house.” That’s a direct quote from my 3-year-old daughter, Sutton, whom I’ve previously declared to be the sweetest little girl in...
View ArticleConfessions of a Bad Dad: My Kids are Junkies
If there’s one thing that always makes me feel like a failure as a parent, it’s when someone asks me what my kids’ first words were. Seriously, I’m supposed to know that? It’s not that I don’t care....
View ArticleThings That Go Jump in the Night
I’ve written before about how my kids are obsessed with Halloween. Their favorite thing at the Halloween store last year was a spider that jumped out at you when you stepped on a floor pad. It also...
View ArticleKid Peeves: 5 Perfectly Innocent Things My Toddlers Do That Drive Me F*%#in’...
Like anybody’s kids, mine do things that drive me nuts, but most of the time, that’s exactly what they’re trying to do. They’re hoping that the 5,000th time they ask me for ice cream will be the one...
View ArticleThe 5 Most Amazing Things In The Whole World!!! (to a 3 1/2-year-old)
1. Eating under the table 2. Dressing like Daddy 3. Automatic hand dryers* 4. Traffic cones 5. Putting an Angry Birds Easter basket on your head … or just improvising with whatever you’ve got * two...
View Article10 Quotes From My Son About the New Legoland Discovery Center Near Us
“I did not like the spooky hallway.” “I was so brave.” “That girl did not share, and I told her, ‘YOU’RE NOT PLAYING NICE!’” “I did not want my picture taken.” “The movie was not good.” “It’s so far...
View ArticleGay Dads Have All The Answers…
Her first self-portrait “Daddy, when I’m an adult, I’m going to grow a baby in my belly.” “That’s great, Honey, and if that’s what you decide, then yes, you can.” “But Daddy…?” “Yes?” “How does it get...
View ArticleNew Post on NY Metro Parents!
Sorry about the lack of posts lately. I hope you’re all enjoying your summer as much as I am. If you’re a parent anywhere in the NY Metro area, as I am, you’ve probably flipped through a copy of NY...
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